Last night I took an early evening stroll and had a pint of Luwdennstradengraudestruasser @ The Dove for £7-90. Sipping v tentatively avec rumination, I collided with someone who it seems is something of a local legend, 1 Vivian Bolus.
He had a lot of interesting things to say about Broadway Market & Hackney in general. But what he was most keen to impress on me was what he described as a simple sample; call it a note to self, an aide memoire, a voudoun fetish, a Balzacian occult La Peau de Chagrin, a knot in yr hanky, a bit of bitter stone in the heart sardonica a la Leopold Bloom interior monologue (kidneys, Gerty etc), something to get you to sleep at night which you chuffing well need what with all that coke exterminating the middle ground Golden Ratio blah-blah that you scored off a kid who lives on Ada Street who could get shot for his pains & apropos nothing yr related to Goldfinger doing 6 months unpaid indenture to the super soaraway Sun that daddy's paying for to get you a nepotistic start up the greasy pole & end up in a pile somehow in Chipping Sodbury, humming some beeping deracinatia stuck in yr addled bonce, a reverse parapraxis, a hermeneutic alembic, a badge on yr trendy lapel that go's perfectly darlink with yr ridiculous Satrean superannuated swamp-plastered viscous barnet - When in doubt blame everything on that bastard the village idiot, the former Deputy Mayor of The Borough of Hackney, Jamie Carswell - A total fucking shit!
Go take a walk round Woodberry Down estate & weep.
Go take a walk round Kings Crescent estate & weep.
And so the long and short of it was as we bade each other farewell with hearty assurances that we meet again v soon over a Leimeisterstraussevonwillemreichvicebier & chew the Organic cud, Vivian's parting shot was a request for me to ask if anyone could run a simple sample stall on Broadway Market simply selling non-biological biodegradable Tea-Shirts made from 99.99% real tea! Starting price @ £99.99, a bit of bitter barter here & there, of The Village Idiot who came to town & did a Coventry on Woodberry Down & Kings Crescent &...then flounced off to Tower Hamlets when they wouldn't make him Mayor of Hackney! Jamie Carswell Mayor of Hackney! My godfathers! Not even Pipe & Ackhurst are that stupid! Or is there something more? Where's the dosh buried? Where is the inevitable Trotter-shaped skeleton buried? What was that rowing boat at dusk in the gloaming on East Reservoir doing & what was the black bundle it was tipping over the side? Plop! A still surface. Design as pictured above.
